Risking A Love That Isn't Easy

I got an incredible email.

One winter day, I sent out a Lightning Notes newsletter. In it, I wrote, “I might have a tool for you.” It was about a program I was launching.

Caitie, my friend wrote back, I would counter with, “I have a tool that might be helpful for you.” You do have the tool, it’s whether we chose to get it from you that’s in question. You use words, words matter to you. And these words, she told me with equal parts compassion and firmness, make you smaller.

“So in the future,” she concluded, “I want to hear you shouting I HAVE TOOLS FOR YOU!!!”

Her email was like a cold shower - hard at first, but renders you awake, invigorated, refilled with power.

She really read what I had written. She saw how I had undercut myself. And she took the time, the courage, the love to tell me.

When my friend pressed “Reply,” she risked that I might get prickly and defensive, that my ego would be so bruised, it would deafen my ability to hear her.

But what came shouting through her email was: I see you. I know you. And you are bigger than this. She wrote it with such muscular love, my ego wilted and my wisest self could hear.

It’s not an easy love to deliver. But it is an incredible love to receive. I felt believed in, called out and called back to who I was.

Thank you, I wrote to my friend. This is just what I needed.

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