The Good Friend We Don't Have Yet
I could write a list four miles long about what good friends do for each other.
It might include:
Listen without judgment.
Show up for important moments.
Welcome you, accept you, love you as you are.
Hold you when you feel broken, inadequate, not enough.
Now, let's pause for a moment. What would it mean to offer this to ourselves? What would it mean to be a good friend of ourselves?
We aren't taught to be friendly towards ourselves. We're taught to whip ourselves into shape, to distrust ourselves, to work on ourselves like we're a problem to be solved.
Which means that for many of us, if we treated our friends the way we treated ourselves, they'd drop us like a hot potato.
So here's what I propose: let's take one thing our friends do for us - don't let us speak disparagingly about ourselves or forgive us for our human errors - and practice giving that to ourselves.
It may feel stilted or inorganic at first. We may forget and we may fumble. That's normal. We're opening up our heart to ourselves, and that might take some time.
But we can do this. We know how to be kind. Our friends are evidence of that. So now, we're offering the same kindness we so readily offer others to our own selves. Which is a simple, though not easy, move towards being a good friend of ourselves.
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