What's Bigger Than Fear
I had a helpful insight about fear the other morning.
It was 7am, already humid and hot. I looked at my calendar. Man, I thought, I am not psyched about those calls today.
Since that's not a great feeling to go into the day with, I decided to gently interrogate my resentment. Why? I asked myself. There's no bad news in these calls. If anything, they could be filled with new opportunity.
And what became clear was that this feeling had sprung from a fear that I wouldn't get done all I wanted to get done today. It was freeing to realize - that's fear masquerading as resentment.
But what was even more helpful was the insight that came on top of that: When we can name our fear, fear doesn't control us as much. We can't name it without being aware that this is fear, not reality. (And fear masquerades as reality so well.)
Our awareness is larger than our fear. When we recognize the fear, it means we aren't consumed by it. It's just one part of us, like a wave is one part of the ocean.
With that awareness, we can choose which part of us we want to act from. It doesn't make it an easy choice. But we can do it knowing that we are the ocean, fear is just a wave.
That humid and hot morning, I felt my resentment, and the fear underneath it. And also, I felt that I was not my fear. Nor was I beholden to it.