Finding Out What Matters To Us
If someone asked us, "What's your favorite movie?" there's a good chance our minds would go blank.
Or maybe we'd say what we think our favorite movie should be. "Citizen Kane," we'd say. "The Godfather, Raging Bull, and Sunset Boulevard."
But if someone asked us, "What's a movie you've seen again and again?" that could get us thinking.
"Hmmm," we might say. "Grease, for sure. Steel Magnolias. A League of Their Own. Oh! And Field of Dreams - love that one!"
Similarly, if someone asked us, "What are your values?" perhaps our minds would go blank.
Or perhaps we'd start to list what we think our values should be. "Honesty, integrity, courage, compassion," we'd say. "And loyalty."
But if someone asked us, "What did you do yesterday that mattered to you?" that could get us thinking.
"Well," we'd say, "I worked out. Texted a friend. Spoke up about an issue that was bothering me at work."
And with that, we can get a sense that we value our health, friendships, speaking our truth.
Often, our mind doesn't file things as "values" or "priorities." So we need to go in the side door to find them.
And finding them is important. Because if we don't know our values, society will readily impose its values onto us. We can end up living loyally to what we think we should do rather than what we're called to do.
But when we do find our values, we can name them as such. Put them on the forefront of our consciousness. And, like those movies we love, feature them again and again in our lives.