An Unconventional Approach to Self-Transformation
"I'm working on myself."
It's a common refrain, isn't it? Maybe we're working on productivity, patience, focus. Working to be braver, kinder, a better partner/friend/sibling.
Really, we're working for transformation. And that's important.
But the notion of working on ourselves feels a bit harsh. We work on houses, cars, math sets. And we work on them when they need to be fixed or solved. In short, we work on problems.
So, if we say we're working on ourselves, it's a bit like telling ourselves that we are a problem that needs to be fixed. Which seems like an unkind, weak foundation for transformation.
Instead, I've been saying, I'm working with myself. As though me and this part of myself I'm hoping to change aren't arch enemies, but partners in transformation.
It's a tiny shift. But I think it's more than prepositions. It's the difference between bullying ourselves into being different or respecting ourselves into metamorphosis.
How we talk about ourselves matters. How we talk to ourselves matters. Change is tough, period. But perhaps we can ease some of that by not speaking of ourselves as big problems we must fix. But rather being with ourselves as raw human spirits we get to ally with.