Learning, Again and Again

There are some things I've had to learn again and again. 

Relax my jaw when I'm overwhelmed or feeling stress. 

Say, "I'll get back to you," when I'm pushed to make a decision I'm not ready to make. 

Don't pinch pennies on mattresses, toilet paper, sneakers, cell phone cases. 

People's behavior towards me is almost always about them and not me. 

The list is long. Nothing on it has been a one-and-done learning experience. So everything on it has been a teacher of mine. 

I used to really turn the screw about it. This again?! I'd berate myself. Can't you get it already? 

Since I hadn't totally changed my behavior, I assumed I hadn't learned. Except I had learned. Because what I didn't realize was that it was taking me less and less time to become aware of my fumble. And when I was aware of it, I could change it. 

Learning isn't purely a matter of mastery. Learning is also coming into awareness. And the faster our awareness kicks in, the faster our ability to make a choice that fulfills us. 

Plus, if the learning were easy, we would have mastered it eons ago. But the harder stuff takes some time. 

I'm pretty sure to be human is to have things we have to learn over and over. We can kick our own shins over it and have nothing but bruises to show for it.

Or we can take a moment to see how our awareness has grown. Which means that we are, in fact, learning. 

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