Falling Apart, Putting Ourselves Together

This gray, snowy morning, I was in a bit of pain.  

Why, I asked my mother at a bright and busy cafe, is this crummy crap coming up again? 

I'd been living with some fear recently. I'd thrown my usual tools at it - gratitude, lots of walking and sleep, meditation, connecting with good people, disconnecting from media. But this was one tenacious strain. And even after giving it my all, I was still host to fear. 

I thought I'd learned how to handle this already, I felt sadness in my voice. Around us, people were buying coffees, eating breakfasts, talking about all we humans talk about. 

You know, my mother said, so much of life is falling apart and putting ourselves back together again. Falling apart, putting ourselves together, falling apart, putting ourselves together. 

Did you just come up with that? I asked. She nodded. I know, though, she's known the wisdom behind the words for years. 

The more we fall apart and put ourselves back together, the more we can support others who are falling apart and trying to figure out how to get themselves back together, my mother adds. 

In other words, use your falling apart. Mine it for every bit of wisdom it holds, as poet John O'Donohue would say. Not just for yourself, but for the many, many others who could use it, too. 

The cafe hustled with people eating, entering, exiting. So, you're all falling apart, I thought. Me too! It's as human as breathing and eating too much dark chocolate. 

And then I said a silent prayer to everyone in the cafe, the street it was on, the whole hurting world, too: May we hold each other, accompany each other as we figure out how to put ourselves back together. 

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