Having the Feelings

At 4:00 in Oakland, I got on the right train going in the wrong direction. At 5:15, I was giving a workshop in a tall building overlooking the Bay. And at 4:30, I realized I was very, very far away from the Bay.

Oh hell, hell, hell, I slammed my hand into my head. Wildly, I began banging around on my phone for some Hail Mary solution.

Only, my thinking wasn't clear enough to see a solution. I was too pitched with franticness, oh hell-ness, I've blown this-ness.

And I remembered a bit of guidance that had been passed on to me: Have your feeling. And then get on with it. The only rule? You can't be unkind to anyone, yourself included.

Okay, I thought, okay. Take a minute or two to really freak out. Then move forward.

So, I did. I got off the train and, on a platform very, very far from the Bay, I gave myself some time to let that big wave of a feeling crash through: I've ruined my reputation! I'll never be welcome in that tall building again! My career's finished!

And after a bit, the wave - as many waves do - broke on the shore. The sky-high temperature in my mind dropped and I could turn my somewhat cleared thinking towards figuring out how to get where I needed to go.

And at 5:20, I walked into the tall building alone. Without that big wave of a feeling that lay crashed and broken on a train platform very, very far from the Bay.

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